Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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