Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
