God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
