Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He literally asked permission to hit on me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
