I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
