I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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