Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
