It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
