Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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