I just threw up on my dentist
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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