there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
