I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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