it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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