somebody snuck up and got me drunk
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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