I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
