i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
