the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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