Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Michael Bay diarrhea
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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