You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
