i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
