hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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