Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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