I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
