I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
