I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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