Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
