how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
