When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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