I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
