When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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