Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
