somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i need some magic done to my vagina
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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