his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize