eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize