There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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