Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
