hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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