I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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