What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
