Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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