I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
