So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Come on in and take your pants off
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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