And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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