it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
