tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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