i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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