Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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