Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
