Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
