I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
