Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
