All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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