if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
