At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
