Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
