saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
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So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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