I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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