Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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