I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
