I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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