You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
