and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize