I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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