There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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