i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
