sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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